Tonight I was reading some of the other blogs I follow and I read one wherein the writer mentions her "slave space".
It made me wonder... do I have such a place, a space in my mind where I go to when I'm experiencing my submissiveness at it's deepest? I fear that I do. My love and desire for my Sir is leading me into places I didn't intend to go. The place where what he wants is important, more important than what I want, or else they are the same. The place where I circle back to his way even when I believe I'm thinking on my own.
Right now I'm a submissive. At times a conflicted submissive. I still struggle with things, still have moments of pause. Days when I attempt to impose my own way.
Something very emotional is triggered within me at the use of the term slave. A longing, a desire to explore what that would mean. I'm drawn to it, and at the same time am afraid of it, afraid to go deeper into this.
I feel the lure of accepting a collar, yet am unsure if its the commitment, the unknown, the inability to recant that stalls my steps.
This was beautifully written, I could feel your emotion. I can say that for me being a slave has only gotten better with commitment and time. The unknowns still exist but I'm better at accepting them know. Anyway, just lovely.
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